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Why do people take so long to reply to text messages?

One of the first indicators of social rejection is that people you text take a long time to text back. This happens because the person you are texting likely has very little interest in talking to you. Your texts are largely viewed as annoyance that to be ignored.

Sometimes there will be no response at all. Other times, you may get a late reply because the person doesn't want to enflame things or be overly rude. They see replying to your text as a chore (as opposed to something they want to do).

Normally, slow text responses are coupled with other related indicators of social rejection, such as:

99% of the time they aren't texting you back because they just don't care.

It can be extremely frustrating and depressing when someone doesn't reply to your texts (or takes a long time to reply). It is an indication that the person you are texting lacks interest in you.

This rejection is painful, and it is natural to try to justify it by convincing yourself that their lack of response is due to an extraneous reason, such as:

While sometimes these factors can temporarily delay a response, if the text reply is always slow or messages are largely being ignored, 99% of the time it's because of a lack of interest.

The bottom line: When people are interested, they reply to text messages. They also initiate contact, show enthusiasm, and put effort into their texts.

How to react when someone doesn't reply to texts or is always slow to reply?

So you've been rejected, now what? You need to do three things:

  1. Accept that there is not enough interest;
  2. Stop texting the person;
  3. Work on improving your personality and social skills so that people will be interested in you.

Many loners being ignored will get so frustrated that they, out of anger and/or desperation, will send a subsequent text message that requests a reply to the previous one. This could take the form of a "hello?", "you there?", or some variation thereof.

Worst yet, many will complain to the other person about their response rate.

Deep down, most people understand these subsequent texts are counterproductive and damaging to their reputation. Why do they do it? Out of pain, frustration, and desperation. They want assurance that the other person cares about talking them. Sadly, the other person usually doesn't.

Unnecessarily burning bridges

If the lack of response is due to an extraneous reason (which it likely isn't of course), by sending subsequent texts you may unnecessarily burn bridges with an otherwise possible friend. Even a "hello?" indicates to the other person you are needy, insecure, and desperate.

You need to work on fixing your social skills and social appeal

Normal people have social lives with people who reply to their text messages.

Go walk around the mall and see everyone on their phones. They are busy with their social lives, and you should be too. If you're not, the good news is that you can learn to significantly increase your social skills, likability.



Social Skills Guide

   Adult Social Skills Training

Friendship Making

How to make friends
How to meet people
How to hang out with people

Loner Experiences

Facebook depressing
Everyone else is busy
Slow responses to texts
"I have no friends"
Indicators of social rejection
Depressed by old pictures
People don't initiate contact
Having no social circle
Fat people with no friends
Never invited places
Lonely people who stop trying
Dating: men vs. women

Identity and Backgrounds

Typical loner profiles
Hiding lack of a social life
How to spot a loner
Alcholism and isolation

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